"...And Then I Woke Up Chinese" *Dun Dun Duhhh* Lex Luthor Unleashes the MinoriBeam!

Caution: This post must be read in an As-Seen-On-TV style, or if you prefer, try 1950's Television Announcer.
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Lex! Luthor! Unleashes The, unbeatable, MinoriBeam®! Alabaster Folks Git Scarit!

Angry over lack of support for his new blackness, Lex Luthor created the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam. Experience the slings and arrows of melanin enriched life! Lex Luthor says now!

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You didn't know? You better ask somebody. Super—heroes and villains, everywhere are turning up colored: Lois Lane, The Punisher, Kingpin, Catwoman, Superboy-Prime prime prime prime.

Prime says "..And then I woke up Chinese." Vixen says "You're not Chinese. You're Japanese." It doesn't matter! He's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

Luthor calls it wicked, wacky fun! Booster Gold turns up Indian. Can't stop singing and dancing. Takes tech-support calls during battle! He's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

But wait! No one is safe. Even those who check 'other' on government forms are being affected. During a tussle with Superboy-Prime, Vixen, of the JLA, caught a ricochet off his pseudo-Monitor suit. Now she's Maori or Samoan. We can't quite tell!

Storm, of the X-Men, has never 'acted black.' She now says things like 'Jive Turkey' and 'Wuzzup little bitches!'

Couldn't tell Jubilee was Asian? You can now! She's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

Prime says "I can't stop eating Dim Sum!" Vixen says "That's sushi you idiot!" IT DOESN'T MATTER! They've been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

[*feminine discomfort voice*]
The Minoribeam! Now in an exciting line of T-shirts!
Five Fantastic Flavors Featuring:

Black - Don't Clutch Yo' Purse Lady! I've Just Been Hit By The MinoriBeam®.

Cream - I Can't Do Your Taxes! I'm A Victim of The MinoriBeam®.

Brown - I'm Not Your Gardner! I Got Roshambo'd By The MinoriBeam®.

Red - Me No Whumpum' Squaw! It Was The MinoriBeam®.

Yellow - My Eyes No Do This Naturarree! I've Been Hit By The MinoriBeam®.

Protect yourself from arrest today!


* IMAGES LEFT TO RIGHT: Vixen, Superboy-Prime, Punisher, Lois Lane, Kingpin, Catwoman, Lex Luthor, Jubilee

SPECIAL THANKS TO: The Absorbascon and Chris's Invincible Super-Blog for the linked blog entries

This advertisement made possible by a grant from: JAMES 'Why Yes, That Is My Real Name' RAMBO and KATHERINE 'More Stylish Than Jackie-O' BITTNER