LEGAL ANALYSIS: The Godd*~n Batman Strikes Again

Batman Sues Miller
for Defamation
of Character

GOTHAM CITY (Bugle-Planet) – Papers filed today by lawyers representing the vigilante known to Gothamites as “The Batman” claim the current Justice League Member has been defamed by writer Frank Miller. The claim asserts Miller, the writer of books based on The Batman’s activities, has misrepresented The Batman, particularly in The Batman’s relationship to his young apprentice, “The Robin.”

“B--ch says I f-----g swear at motherlovin' kids,” lamented the Dark Knight, referring to Miller’s controversial All-Star Batman. Attorney for The Batman, Harvey Dent, characterized Miller’s representations of his client as “incorrigible.”

The suit, however, faces some major legal hurdles. When asked if he would testify if subpoenaed, The Batman promptly responded, “F--- no! No godd*~n way.” Dent then indicated that his client’s various duties make for a hectic schedule and that they would “assist the Court to find a mutually agreeable time for all parties –between alien invasions and the Joker’s son from a future, alternative universe plotting revenge – and make it work.” Recent appellate court rulings have held that so-called “superheroes” may testify while under a concealed identity under extreme circumstances. Those rulings have been recently liberalized by local courts such as in the case of Spider-Man Doe v. Jameson. However, should The Batman fail to testify or be deposed while the suit is ongoing, he could face criminal liability. “We don’t think it will get that far,” said Dent. “Our case is quite strong.”

Miller claims the suit lacks proper standing. “[The Batman]’s not real!” Miller screamed from his Arkham Asylum cell. Advocates for Miller claim that Miller’s writings show a “clear mental deficiency and lack of creative capacity” that would prevent Miller from mounting a proper defense.

Nevertheless, The Batman has asked for a Temporary Restraining Order to prevent Miller’s future publications regarding The Batman’s activities.

If successful, the suit could very well open the door to similar claims made by lesser-known, or “B-list” heroes, whose reputations can be hampered by their largely unknown status when confronted by salacious writing. Batman-related superhero Nightwing was quoted by onlookers as noting, “Devin Grayson, I’m f-----g coming for you.”

Brandon Keith Hallmark is an Of Counsel at Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway and a Legal Analyst for the Bugle-Planet Daily.

Note from the publisher: We love you Frank! No, really.

All Star Batman and Robin artwork by Frank Miller, all rights reserved DC Comics