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Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Jun 4, 2007

Gossip: Lady Death Getting Breast Reduction?

Hey gossipmongers, it's the Gossip Ghost with a tantalizing rumor from the Endless Graveyard. Seems you might be seeing less of a certain Lady D (or should that be DDD?) in the near future.

"These things are absolutely out of control," complained the lady once known as Hope, now queen of her own li'l corner of the Afterlife and implacable enemy of Lucifer. "It's just ridiculous. Try swinging a sword or a battleaxe with a chest like this. Or using a bow or rifle. Running? Forget it! Even riding a horse is a nightmare for me.

"I'm lucky I have rotting zombies to do my housework. Not to mention clothes-- I can't wear anything off the shelf, ever. Do you know how hard it is for me to find anything that fits? Yeah, they get me a lot of attention, but c'mon! I might be a bad girl but I'm still a girl... and what girl doesn't want to shop now and then?"

Asked if she thought her sexy image would suffer, Lady Death shrugged it off as unimportant. "Back in the day, I sold tons of calendars and trading cards but not so much these days. There's a sort of been-there-done-that to my image. Like Madonna, it's time to reinvent who I am. Besides, it's not like I'm getting much action in the Graveyard. Being able to sleep on my stomach for once might be a nice change."

Her one-time paramour Evil Ernie was contacted regarding this rumor, but all he said was "D***mit! I really liked those things!"

Lady Death artwork by Steven Hughes, all rights reserved Chaos! Comics/Avatar Press

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