This Week

Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Jun 5, 2007

Wolverine: "The Best There Is"...At Getting His Butt Whupped!

EDITORIAL by Martin Bosworth

Oh, Logan, Logan, Logan. Wherefore art thou, Logan? What happened to the guy who was so terrifying that he made his hair grow at right angles out of pure fear? Where is the guy who dared to sneak cigars in under Joe Quesada's anti-smoking ban?

I don't get what's up with you, Logan. Every time I turn around lately, you're getting your butt handed to you on an Adamantium platter. If it's not your perennial slap fight partner Sabretooth making you look silly, you're getting chumped out by your own son, Daken. Seriously, take a look at this guy:

Come on. You're going to take a beatdown from a guy who looks like the result of a one-night stand between Johnny Rotten and Criss Angel? It's bad enough this guy's your kid, but he looks more likely to be the bass player for AFI than your new Big Bad.

If that's not bad enough, you've also been smacked up by your own female clone, X-23, on several occasions:

Really. Just rewind that and ponder. Your own female clone routinely messes you up with her Adamantium toenails. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

But that's not the worst of it. Nope, most recently you got gaffled by Kyle "Wild Child" Gibney. No, really, Mr. Weapon Omega himself--the guy who was most recently running around looking like Gollum and pining away for Aurora:

Yep, it's this guy, suddenly with a lot more hair, smacking you up like you stole his lunch money. Heck, you said it yourself--"I just got beat up by WILD CHILD?!"

What happened to the dude who was surviving explosions from Nitro at ground zero? Or jumping hundreds of feet from airplanes without parachutes? Oh, I know--someone stepped up and said, "We're making Wolverine too powerful!"

Maybe that's true, but there's a difference between being reasonably powered and being the chew toy for every furry with an attitude problem in the Marvel Universe. I think emo is Wolverine's weakness the way Kryptonite affects Superman--all it takes is one miserable goth kid with six-inch razor-sharp nails, and Wolvie's Adamantium backbone turns to jelly.

Come on, Logan. Get your mind right and get back in the game. Don't make me bring Hugh Jackman over there.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Too bad things haven't even changed in the old man Logan yawn fest, thats set FIFTY YEARS in the future.