Gobots' Leader-1: "I Could've Been A Contender"

BPD HEADQUARTERS - It's been a rough twenty year stretch for the Guardians. Although their television series Challenge Of The GoBots brought them mild notoriety, they just couldn't battle the outright awesomeness of The Transformers. Inevitably they were canned. Disheartened they retreated to That Was Yesterday, a popular Vegas dive, where they became drinking buddies with the Coreys (Feldman and Haim).

Then a few years ago inspiration struck. Leader-1 penned an ingenious script outlining a return to action for his intrepid team. Entitling it Go! GoBots! Go! he made only one mistake. He narrated the entire screenplay in the presence of slumming Decepticon, Starscream. Wasting neither time nor opportunity, Starscream used his speaker phone to conference in Michael Bay. The Transformers now had a vehicle for their comeback.

Last night, yours truly was treated to a screening of that film (heh heh heh). Which has cleverly been renamed Transformers. Having forgotten my invite to Bumblebee's Yeah Bee-otch! after party I returned to the office. Leader-1 was waiting for me.

"We've still got a chance, right? Tell me they messed up my script and now it's our turn." he begged, waving the document in question. I sighed shaking my head, "It don't look good for you, brother. It don't look good."


Transformers opens this July 4.
The holes are big, the fun is bigger. Go get some.