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Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Jul 2, 2007

Man Sues Himself For Copyright Infringement

Mitch Reynolds was one of many doppelgangers brought to Earth during the so-called 'Crisis'

NEW EARTH - Mitch Reynolds developed a program that revolutionized internet searching and facial recognition. Poised to reap the rewards of three years work in his basement computer lab, Mitch was met with one obstacle when he set off to sell his program to one of the large search engine companies like Moogle or Youhoo: Mitch Reynolds had already sold the program.

In one of the many strange cases to come out of last year's 'Crisis', Mitch Reynolds of a parallel Earth had come to our Earth with the same program code in his head and set about earning his fortune as Mitch Reynolds of this world had planned to do.

"It's outrageous! I worked my fingers to the bone, eating ramen out of a coffee mug for months working on that program, and I can't cash in on it? No one, not even me, is going to stand in the way of me getting paid," exclaimed a fiery Mitch-1, in an interview outside the Metropolis Courthouse. "I spent the six weeks getting this thing copyrighted and I mean to see justice."

"It an outrage! I worked my fingers to the bone, eating ramen out of a gravy bowl for months working on that program, and I can't cash in on it? No one, not even me, is going to stand in the way of me getting paid," exclaimed a incendiary Mitch-2, in an interview outside the Metropolis Courthouse. "Know how hard it is to get your life started when your world explodes and leaves you alone? This is just me getting on with my new life."

While setting a new precedent for a battered legal system, Mitches' case is just the latest to make the national scene. In Star City, Allison Tatum, a corporate attorney, came home to find her husband in bed with another woman. "But she was Allison, except with red hair. I thought she went to the hairdresser. Come on!" Vincent Tatum now lives with the second Allison Tatum, a drummer for the punk rock band Kryptoshiv.

Over in Opal City, the Wagners had only a day of mourning their son, Thompson, when Thompson showed up at their door, five years older than when the Thompson who died. "It wasn't our boy. We knew it when we opened the door, but he looked like our son. He even uses the same expressions," Eva Wagner said, overjoyed at the second chance with Thompson.

The Mitch Reynolds lawsuit is still in progress and expected to take months, even years to be sorted out. As more doppelgangers turn up, we expect more surprises for citizens around the world.

For me, it involves a meeting with Jonni Hex, a superhero reporter from a world where Batman sponsors a little league team, Superman is as feared by citizens as he is by criminals and Green Arrow is celibate.

Brave new world, indeed.

1 comment:

DrewB said...

Jon, I am laughing my ass off.
Excellent post!
Drew