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Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Jul 25, 2007

GL Corps Arrests Watcher for Voyeurism

"Cosmic Peeping Tom!" Accuses Guy Gardner

OA - Green Lantern Corps members stormed the Blue Area of the Moon yesterday and took Uatu (aka, "the Watcher") into custody; he will be charged with mass violations of privacy. Speaking for the Corps, Salaak said, "We've had the Watcher under surveillance for some time now. Thousands of sentient-hours went into this case and we're proud of the result."The Corps alleges that Uatu has been essentially a "cosmic peeping tom" who peered under the clothes and into the windows of every world in the multiverse. The Corps alleges that Uatu, under the guise of his charge to observe was, in fact the worst kind of galactic predator.

The Corps' detractors charge that the high profile move against the Watcher was only an effort to drum up good press in a bad time and distract critics. The allegation would not be far-fetched if the Corps did not have crisis-level challenges. Problems have only multiplied for the ringslinging agents of the Guardians of the Universe.

Recently, the Green Lantern Corps has suffered massive fatalities after attacks by rival Sinestro Corps, who spread fear using yellow power rings. Members of this Corps reportedly include some of the most terrible and evil beings known to exist. Also, rumors persist of pink power rings in use by a "Star Sapphire Corps," which may or may not be a further complication to the emerald lawmen.

Countering those claims, veteran GL and honor guardsman Guy Gardner said, "This big-headed freak was getting his jollies peeping into the bathrooms and bedrooms of everybody. He's been doing it for years! Am I the only one totally creeped out by that? Didn't think so! We either take space-law seriously or we pack it in and turn off the big green lantern on Oa.

"Thanks to us he ain't 'watching' anymore. Besides, he's not as tough as the Sinestro Corps."

Uatu is seeking new legal representation following the sudden demise of his attorney, Harvey "I'll Take the Case!" Birdman.

Uatu the Watcher copyright Marvel Comics, all rights reserved
Guy Gardner, Green Lantern Corps and Sinestro Corps copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved

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