Mike Carey Interview Part 1

BPD WORLD HQ - BPD was lucky enough to score an interview with ace reporter Mike Carey, who covers the X-Men beat for Marvel News and is a preeminent journalist to the Supernatural Realms. Present at this great event were: Mike (of course), Drew, Sherin and respective counsel for each party, Matt Murdock and Brandon Aiko.

NOTE: Mr. Carey expressed a concern that his 5th amendment rights not be impinged upon and insisted Mr. Murdock be involved. We, for our part, had more 'metamorphic' concerns. Identity issues, one might say.

LEGEND: Mike Carey in rust text BPD in orange tag

BPD: Mike, thanks for taking time out to chat with Bugle's Planet Daily.

Well you’re welcome. You’re very welcome. This isn’t going to take long, is it? Only that Blackbird jet takes up sixteen parking bays and I’m going to get a ticket.


BPD: It's cool. We validate. First off, and we apologize for this, but we have to ask you to prove you're not a Skrull. We wouldn't normally ask but you write 137 ongoing comics and a series of novels, plus keep an absolutely inhuman tour schedule. So, if you wouldn't mind putting us at ease...? [Sherin holds up a note that says: Brandon is making us ask]

Nope. Sorry. Mister Murdock says that’s an infringement of my could-be-human-could-be-not rights.


BPD: Covering the X-Men beat for Marvel News can't be easy. What's an average day like on the job for you?

There’s no such thing as an average day with the X-Men, Sherin. I mean, it was okay when they were based at the mansion, but when they moved to that flying oil tanker thing it got really difficult. I mean, seventeen miles of corridor and they only put in one men’s room? And there’s no wireless network, so how am I supposed to send in copy? Smoke signals?

Then the teleporting to India was kind of a strain, because teleporting gives me a sick headache. And don’t get me started on the whole Providence thing. It was a nightmare. Look up psionic alien death machines in your professional risk insurance if you don’t believe me.


BPD: Is there one X-Man who's unusually hard to cover? We hear lots of rumors about mutants but don't get the inside story. What surprises you about the guys and gals up at Xavier's?

Well, Drew, they all present unique problems from a professional point of view. Case in point - whenever Lady Mastermind is in the room she makes everyone see me as wearing a tutu and a diving helmet, so nobody takes me all that seriously up at the mansion any more. That has a cumulative effect. I’m trying to take an interview, everyone’s giggling at me. Not good, you know? But Sabretooth was probably the most problematic. He threatened to eat my intestines last week. And I need my intestines for metabolising food and stuff. I hate to speak ill of anybody, but I hope Wolverine cuts him into a string of paper dolls.


BPD: Do you ever feel your life is in danger, following the X-Men as they battle Marauders, Sentinels, et al?

Oh no, I’m absolutely fine with that stuff. I love it. That was me being sarcastic, in case it didn’t come across. I have a press badge. You see my press badge? I wear it right there, on my lapel. And nobody could possibly mistake this tweed suit for spandex, so I think when Vertigo cut loose on me in that Caldecott County thing she did it on purpose. I was still praying to the porcelain gods six hours later.


BPD: You used to cover the occult underground beat for The Vertigo Group. What's John Constantine really like?

A lovely bloke – full of the milk of human kindness. That was more sarcasm. He’s a snarky little bugger and he deliberately misleads me with ‘exclusives’ about things that never happened. Then when he does go down to Hell and confront the First of the Fallen, do I get an interview? Not a chance. I’m the one who ends up stuck in limbo asking poltergeists for directions to the nearest exit.


BPD: Are you sure you're not a Skrull? Is Wolverine a Skrull? How many teams can one man be a member of, after all? He's a Skrull right?

Yeah, sure, whatever. He’s a Skrull. I’m a Skrull. We’re all Skrulls. Yada yada yada. I bet a Skrull would get more respect.


BPD: Do you have any Lucifer anecdotes you feel like sharing? How far did your walk/research on the 'dark side' take you? And do you really have to sign your contract in blood to work the Infernal beat? Can Skrulls sign blood contracts?

Will you back off on the Skrull stuff? Please?

[Sherin hits Drew with a resounding BAP!]

I’m not allowed to talk about the Lucifer deal. There are initiation rites, yes, and they do involve goats and virgins. Well, goats that happen to be virgins. Mostly.


Look for Part 2: The Sequel (This Time It's Personal) on Friday!

Visit Mike's blog for more (and validation this is a real interview) at http://www.mikecarey.net/.