Booster and Beetle Reunited with Favorite Writer!

"Blue and Gold" Re-Team with Award-Winning Scribe!

METROPOLIS - Booster Gold and Blue Beetle, past members of the Justice League, were reunited this past week with Keith Giffen, former JLA correspondent and close friend to both. Giffen covered an early "untold tale" of the two heroes, wherein they struggle to join the JLA.

"It was just like old times," Beetle said. "Nobody tells our stories the way Keith does. Man, what I wouldn't give to have him back with us full-time! I'd rather catch a bullet in the head than go with a different reporter."

"The time goes by so fast," mused Gold. "I mean, you blink and it's like we're back in yesteryear. Who can do that without a time bubble? Our old pal Keith, that's who!"

"I'm glad to have this chance to work with the boys again," admitted Giffen, who has gone to work for two prestigious weekly publications in recent years. "We don't get to see each other very much any more. Sometimes, I feel like so much time has gone by, I barely recognize them when I catch a glimpse in a magazine here or there."

Asked if this opens the doors to future articles, Giffen demurred. "I'll never say never, but there's so many things to write about, you know?" he said. "I love those wacky guys--maybe one day we'll have the chance to tell about their biggest adventure--the one nobody but nobody has ever heard before." And with a wink, he disappeared back into the night, looking for stories-- the kind only he can tell.

Artwork copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved

Batman Dumbfounded by Surprise Party

"World's Greatest Detective" Ambushed by Friends

by Drew Bittner, Senior Gotham Correspondent

GOTHAM CITY - The Darknight Detective was caught unawares Saturday evening by a surprise party, thrown in honor of his birthday by the Justice League of America.

"I was a little surprised, yes," Batman admitted to this reporter (who was flown blindfolded into the Batcave to cover the event). "There are many security features to the cave--but they were all neatly circumvented by my friends." He suddenly frowned. "...which is unacceptable."

Hosted by Robin the Boy Wonder, partygoers included Superman, Supergirl, Green Lantern, Green Arrow and Black Canary, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, the current rosters of the JLA and Teen Titans, and several more.

"This is a great opportunity for us to get together and loosen the capes a little," Superman said. "Nobody has fun like a group of superheroes! Well, nobody but a group of supervillains, I suppose, but I've never been to one of their parties."

Booster Gold showed up late for the festivities, claiming that his robotic sidekick Skeets "forgot" to inform him of a prior commitment. "Hey, at least I got here," he said. "That's more than the Outsiders managed to do!" He was forced to retract his statement mere seconds later, having seen the new lineup of Outsiders glaring at him across the Batcave floor.

A special guest of the night was Catwoman, whose arrival provoked some controversy among the assembled heroes. A spontaneous vote was held and Catwoman was allowed to stay, with Huntress casting the deciding vote. "I just wanted to see what she'd do. That girl may be trouble but she's fun to watch!" Huntress said later.

Nightwing, Batman's former partner and the first Robin, was a notable no-show but sent a videotaped greeting to his mentor, wishing him the best and offering to watch over Gotham City any time he feels like retiring. Even though Batman laughed, it feels as though he's been around for decades, despite his having the vigor and appearance of a man barely in his thirties. How much longer will this tireless caped crusader continue to patrol the night-time streets of Gotham City?

Judging by the way he set the dance floor on fire, he'll be crimefighting for many, many years to come.

Want to know more about Batman? Visit http://www.dccomics.com/!

Batman artwork copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved

"...And Then I Woke Up Chinese" *Dun Dun Duhhh* Lex Luthor Unleashes the MinoriBeam!

Caution: This post must be read in an As-Seen-On-TV style, or if you prefer, try 1950's Television Announcer.
*







Lex! Luthor! Unleashes The, unbeatable, MinoriBeam®! Alabaster Folks Git Scarit!

Angry over lack of support for his new blackness, Lex Luthor created the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam. Experience the slings and arrows of melanin enriched life! Lex Luthor says now!

*





You didn't know? You better ask somebody. Super—heroes and villains, everywhere are turning up colored: Lois Lane, The Punisher, Kingpin, Catwoman, Superboy-Prime prime prime prime.

Prime says "..And then I woke up Chinese." Vixen says "You're not Chinese. You're Japanese." It doesn't matter! He's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

Luthor calls it wicked, wacky fun! Booster Gold turns up Indian. Can't stop singing and dancing. Takes tech-support calls during battle! He's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

But wait! No one is safe. Even those who check 'other' on government forms are being affected. During a tussle with Superboy-Prime, Vixen, of the JLA, caught a ricochet off his pseudo-Monitor suit. Now she's Maori or Samoan. We can't quite tell!

Storm, of the X-Men, has never 'acted black.' She now says things like 'Jive Turkey' and 'Wuzzup little bitches!'

Couldn't tell Jubilee was Asian? You can now! She's been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

Prime says "I can't stop eating Dim Sum!" Vixen says "That's sushi you idiot!" IT DOESN'T MATTER! They've been hit by the MinoriBeam®! beam beam beam.

[*feminine discomfort voice*]
The Minoribeam! Now in an exciting line of T-shirts!
Five Fantastic Flavors Featuring:

Black - Don't Clutch Yo' Purse Lady! I've Just Been Hit By The MinoriBeam®.

Cream - I Can't Do Your Taxes! I'm A Victim of The MinoriBeam®.

Brown - I'm Not Your Gardner! I Got Roshambo'd By The MinoriBeam®.

Red - Me No Whumpum' Squaw! It Was The MinoriBeam®.

Yellow - My Eyes No Do This Naturarree! I've Been Hit By The MinoriBeam®.

Protect yourself from arrest today!


* IMAGES LEFT TO RIGHT: Vixen, Superboy-Prime, Punisher, Lois Lane, Kingpin, Catwoman, Lex Luthor, Jubilee

SPECIAL THANKS TO: The Absorbascon and Chris's Invincible Super-Blog for the linked blog entries

This advertisement made possible by a grant from: JAMES 'Why Yes, That Is My Real Name' RAMBO and KATHERINE 'More Stylish Than Jackie-O' BITTNER