Super-Chick Costumes Send Supergirl to the Pole

SMALLVILLE (BPD) - Like most teenagers, Supergirl wanted a part time job. Unlike most, doing homework and saving the day leaves very little extra time. As a result, the girl got creative.

"I was watching Black Canary swing around a lamp-post and Omigod! It just hit me. I could strip! Minimal hours, high income and homework between sets. Don't look at me like that. Judging by most of our costumes stripping's the next logical step. Have you seen Canary's fishnets? And that deep 'V' over Vixen's boobies? Uh-huh. What world is that saving?

When faced with dissension the teen-queen fought back with both barrels blazing. "Hel-low, people. Tigra and Cheetah? They're nekkid! Mary Jane washing Spidey's skivvies showing her thong? Now that's classy. What?! What did you say? Skank!?! Aw hells no. Don't make me go all Phantom Lady's costume on your ass..."

Superman expressed concern but couldn't stop the headstrong teen. Instead he insisted she have a mentor who could "handle themselves" if things got hectic. Stripperella was the logical choice and was happy to take on the job. "I'm not doing much these days anyway. Maybe this could get me into the JLA."

When asked if she was surprised by the news, Power Girl said the following, "Me? Shocked? Why do you think I wear this costume in the first place? And the boobs? Really. You don't go from Bs to Double-Ds just by wishing real hard. My chest is still waaay smaller than my brain. Plus the villains gape, I jaw-jack 'em. Done! *yeech* Boys are so easy..."

Potential Supergirl oglers should know that Batman is keeping 'an eye on things' at the strip club and Green Arrow has been stopping by to make sure it's all on the 'up and up.'

IN OTHER NEWS: Green Arrow and the Gentleman Ghost solicited by Chippendales. The Penguin turned away.

Special thanks to Occasional Superheroine for planting the seed and the photo reference.

Mary Marvel Sex Tape Leaks to the Internet

EARTH S - Teen superhero Mary Marvel has shocked the world, and this time, there was no magic lightning involved. Following in the footsteps of Paris Hilton, Mary Marvel, recently given power from the supervillain Black Adam, appears in a 19 minute video that is making its rounds on the internet. The video is of Mary Marvel in the midst of what Air Force pilot Hal Jordan would call 'crowded airspace' or 'rushing the flight deck.' The men in the video are as of yet unidentified.

Friends of Mary Marvel, including Superman and Batman, have expressed concern that the young superheroine's behavior has been spinning out of control since re-acquiring her powers from Black Adam. 'She shot Clayface into space,' said Batman, when interviewed of the subject. 'Even I don't do that, and I'm the godd@amn Batman!'

Reporter Jimmy Olsen claims that he has his own theories about the identities of the men in the video. 'Well,' Olsen begins, 'I heard that one of them was the new superhero, Mr. Action.' BPD's response was, 'Who the hell is Mr. Action, and what kind of fanboy turd uses a name like that?' Olsen had no further comment.

Mary Marvel is as of yet unavailable for comment. Meanwhile, other young female heroines have expressed disgust at the behavior of Marvel. 'Eeewww,' said Supergirl. 'If she's gonna do that kind of stuff, it should at least be with a Green Lantern.'

Teen superheroes have had other romantic issues of late. Superhero Robin has filed suit against writer Adam Beechen. In a prepared statement, Robin claimed that Beechen has misrepresented his love life: 'He's got me chasing around Zoanne in one book and making out with Wonder Girl in another. I mean, I definitely got enough bat-rope to make it happen, but I'm a detective, not a man whore. Besides, if those chicks get close to me, chances are they're gonna be deader than fried chicken in a minute.'

This intrepid Reporter will stay on top of the teens and their superhero moral crisis as it develops.