Giant Turtle Thing Assaults Hapless Bystander!

METROPOLIS - A giant monster described as a "freaky turtle thing" attacked and seriously injured an equally giant fellow who appeared to be minding his own business, according to eyewitnesses.

"Yeah, dude, this scaly green [bleep!] shows up and whangs this stony-face [bleep!] like my pops at the bar on a payday," said 'urban poet' Franco Hsi Jefferson. "I mean, boom, son! Then all hell's bustin' loose and I got my ass outta there, so I didn't see nothin' after that."

Others say that the "innocent bystander" fended off this attack, only to be struck by a "maniac in a red shirt" who beat the poor victim bloody. A large explosion or series of explosions led the Metropolis PD to close off the area between Schwartz Plaza and the new Busiek Pavilion. Police on the scene said the area will be cordoned off for the next four or five days; travelers should allow for delays in public transportation. Sightseers and tourists are being strongly discouraged from visiting the site.

"It's bad down there," agreed Capt. Josh Foley of the MPD. "Not Doomsday-bad, thank heaven, but pretty bad. The search teams are checking rubble now for casualties, 'cause, y'know, there's always casualties."

More information as it develops.

Artwork copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved

Slugfest in the BPD Offices!

Today is Not Our Day, Laments Publisher Sherin

BPD WORLD HQ - Ask most people and they'll tell you that Friday the 13th isn't really THAT unlucky a day.

They don't work for the BPD.

As this goes online, Superman and Black Adam are duking it out in our offices. Seems that our reporters scheduled interviews with the two powerhouses at the same time. Unhappily, these two have clashed often and hard lately, so there was barely time for a shouted "everybody down!" before they started throwing hypersonic fists into jaws harder than titanium.

This is really bad. We're... oh no, there goes a server! Expect outages as we... jumpin' Christmas, I'm WORKING HERE! Injury due to heat vision and lightning bolts is NOT part of my insurance package! I'm... I'm getting outta here.

If we have an office this afternoon, folks, expect to see an update.

Action Comics #831 artwork is copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved