This Week

Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Oct 10, 2007

Being Evil Doesn't Mean Being Unprepared: New Beginnings Insurance

A new option for supervillains to consider during open enrollment season has been unveiled: New Beginnings Insurance. See the vidcast here. (or watch below)

Unlike other insurance plans that only covered lengthy hospital stays for the supervillain set, New Beginnings Insurance offers an array of flexible options. The Basic Option covers you, the supervillain, when:

- Acme products do not work as advertised
- Bids for world domination fail (leaving you with hefty financial liability) or
- You're Rodney King'd by superheroes

Grief Support Services for victims of your destructive rampage (and/or their survivors, families, pets, robot servants, et al) are fully covered as well. Additional features and services are being added daily.

New Beginnings even offers coverage for thugs, goons and hirelings of all sorts. Now your henchmen can be covered as well, for less than the cost of one superweapon's daily maintenance. Experts say that offering fringe benefits to your workforce is the wave of the future; in a buyer's market, can you afford to be behind the curve?

Our Preferred Provider Networks cover all 52+ universes with New Beginnings hospitals, clinics, and secret hideouts in convenient locations. Our service is confidential and discreet; adjusters and representatives will come to you any hour of the day or night, in any location on Earth or Earth-adjacent (sorry, we cannot extend coverage outside the Solar System at this time, nor to non-human applicants).

In uncertain times, go with the brand that covers you. Your cowering minions will thank you for it (or at least, they might plot less often to overthrow you in a bloody coup).

Contact your local representative of Loeb Life for more information about New Beginnings Insurance at 1-800-555-EVIL.

New Beginnings Insurance is fully insured and licensed, in compliance with federal and state law, for those worlds occupied by characters from diverse quasi-realities as depicted in graphical entertainment. Endorsed by the Legion of Doom since 2002.

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