Big Bad Wolf Still on Endangered List

NEW YORK CITY - Local authorities today confirmed that the species lupus majorus malificus (aka Big Bad Wolf) remains on the endangered species list.

"We've heard around town that the wolves just aren't making the scene the way they used to," said Animal Control Commissioner Frederick B. Avery. "Used to be you could see whole packs of them at '21' and ritzy joints all over Manhattan. Could be the smoking ban in restaurants is what drove 'em out to the boroughs."

The effects on the ecology of Manhattan nightlife could not be estimated by Avery.

"It's a shame, y'know. These guys try sweet-talkin' the singers and dancers and boom! Blows up in their faces. It ain't easy bein' a wolf in New York," Avery said. "Maybe opening up a new hot club or fancy restaurant will bring 'em out, but I dunno."

Artwork copyright MGM Studios, all rights reserved