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Mar 11, 2008

Skrulls Disavow Blame for Messed Up Marvel Universe

"It Ain't Us," Insist Sneaky Shapeshifting Aliens

NEW YORK CITY - Speaking at the United Nations earlier today, representatives of the fragmented Skrull Empire reassured the media that they are, in fact, not to blame for the "messed up" state of affairs.

"Sure, it's easy to blame the aliens--we're green and have pointy ears, we MUST be the bad guys, right?" said M'Yk K'rree, spokesbeing for the alien delegation. "Come on. You know Iron Man was always kind of a bastard. Did you really think it was us that made him that way? Reed Richards, your Mister Fantastic? Another egghead with a warped vision of the world... not a Skrull."

Mighty Avengers spokesman Spider-Woman said, "We know we've been infiltrated by Skrulls, the only question is how... oh, that is just going too far." She broke off as images of Spider-Woman, her face definitely somewhat Skrullish, flashed on a monitor over her head. "See? They're trying to sow dissent, fear and distrust! Just like... nah, better not go there."

K'rree (whose name, he admitted, is a sore point among Skrulls) added, "This paranoia and chaos is not what we Skrulls are all about. Look, we just want to be like everyone else so much, we change shape to fit in. All we want is to get along. That's not so evil and Machiavellian, is it?"
Authorities have decided to let the Avengers, Fantastic Four and Skrulls work this out to their mutual satisfaction. It is likely that all parties will end up on The People's Court in the near future.
"We believe that's the proper venue for the airing of grievances among you Earth people," K'rree considered. "Jerry Springer was already booked--which was disappointing, because we really wanted to throw chairs at each other."
Artwork copyright Marvel Comics, all rights reserved

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