This Week

Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Nov 12, 2007

Ask the Question!

You wanted it, you got it!

We're back with Hub City's own mystery man, ready and able to tackle your problems in his own, um... well, he does what he does and things happen, you know?

And now, time to open the mailbag and ASK THE QUESTION!

Worried in Wilmington asks...
Do you Have any advicE for a first time investor in today's shifting Long term investment environment? If Positive Merits could bE better described in detail.

Dear Worried,

There is no cause for further alarm. As you know, the events of that horrific evening are now well behind us. Though I did not envision the "solution" requiring the use (i.e., demolition) of two gas tankers, the contents of a roadside fireworks stand and a ton of Delaware's finest seafood-- success speaks for itself.

You also impressed me with how quickly you picked up the finer points of using a flamethrower and a set of Ginsu steak knives. I must say, your neighbors simply did not rise to the occasion, with the screaming, running around and rampant threat of lawsuits. They cannot be counted on to fight the war on crime. The complete loss of the neighborhood was unfortunate.

An unnamed benefactor is paying your hospital bills. You have my best wishes for a rapid and complete rehabilitation. I'm told that the biomechanical prosthetics supplied by STAR Labs are among the finest in the world. You may not be able to lift buses over your head but you'll cope quite well with your two new arms and neck.

Best regards, fellow crimefighter,


We've been having a lot of nice weather here in Gotham City. I can't remember the last time it rained or when the birds flew south for the winter. Is this a result of global warming?
Signed, Worried in Gotham


I have made certain inquiries and the news is not encouraging. Ever since the night a certain Rock exploded over Gotham City, your weather patterns have been chaotic--and increasingly unstable.

You would be well advised to move out of the immediate city environments, perhaps to the suburbs. My sources suggest that there is a weather-related cataclysm coming to Gotham... one might even call it the side effects of a Crisis. Does that mean it will rain frogs or fire from the skies?

That is a question that not even I can answer. However, I can say that before all is done, you might wish it was "only" global warming. On the scale of problems, global warming is a minnow running ahead of a frenzied mass of sharks.


And that's all we can take--I mean, that's all we have time for today! Come back soon for another installment of ASK THE QUESTION!

Artwork copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved


We both know, why inform others? said...

Mr. Sage.

I find your investigations... effective. Perhaps TOO effective. As we both despise unneeded bloodshed, it would be for the bestif you would, shal we say, redirect your attention, for a nominal fee. Big things are coming, and we humans should form a united front. We wouldn't want a certain photographer to find video of the Zaire incident, would we?

The? said...

An interesting overture, but we both know where I stand.

Zaire? A distraction (albeit a potentially *explosive* one, if you take my meaning) and only a tiny piece of a much bigger puzzle. But then again, you already know that.

Ask your business partners about File 2179-J and payments made to Polaris Technologies. I haven't found your fingerprints on this yet...

BTW, that was you in Brussels yesterday. Visiting a Starbucks overseas? You know they're all wired into the Big Eye. Your seeming indiscretion is fascinating.

Humanity and a united front. Under whose control, I wonder?

More later.


A possible friend. said...

Polaris? You haven't deciphered that one yet? I am disappointed in you sir. Bigger things are afoot. And YOU of all people should understand the Brussels incident. Still, I applaud your work in the 51st Durlan crisis. I myself could not have done better. You will come to my side in this soon enough, I think, but if you had joined when we had a choice. I thought you would like Earth 3.14.

The? said...

Sometimes there is sense in professing ignorance, my friend. You've given yourself away on Polaris.

The Brussels incident implicates... well, it would not do to name them on a public forum, but the trail has been interesting to say the least. If you see my expression...

And my thanks for your acknowledgement of the Durlan matter. You'd think they might learn. However, there are many loose ends to be tied off-- or snipped. Much left to be done. For is it not written, A is always A?

And Earth 3.14? Close to home.

be seeing you,

A student of history said...

Mr. Sage

As a prominent costumed vigilante what is your opinion on the recent exile of a number of prominent criminals to an isolated world?

I feel your opinion will greatly illuminate the matter.

The? said...

Interesting question. Am investigating.

The? said...
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The? said...
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Drew said...


All is well. Resume normalcy.