BPD EXPRESS: Second Edition

SUPER POWERED NEWS BITES

Prime On Outs With EMOtions
A class action suit filed against SuperMan-boy-Prime by the Emo Community claims Prime is "not dealing with sadness, love or angst. He's just really pissed off." In a recent press conference Sweet Sally, spokesman for I.AM.EMO.but.slightly.Goth (I.A.E.B.S.G), has expressed his intense moodiness and confusion over Prime's behavior. "Don't throw Luthor into the sun! Go there yourself and burn with love, bitch!"

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Petrelli Reads, Gets New Power
After reading Rising Stars, Watchmen and the X-Men storylines: "Legacy Virus" and "Days of Future Past," Peter Petrelli claims to have a clear vision of the future. "I know exactly what's going to happen next! It's better than 9th Wonders! And I don't even have to use Isaac's powers," says Petrelli.

J. Michael Straczynski says "Duh."


Rihanna Misconnects With Dark Horse
When pop star Rihanna called Dark Horse Comics with a "great cross promotion idea" it took them a full 45 minutes to figure out what an Uhm-ber-ella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh was and what it had to do with Gerard Way. By that time, the songtress had lost interest.

NEWS BITES COMPILED BY ROBERTO ORTIZ & SHERIN NICOLE
EDITED BY DREW BITTNER