Ask the Question!

Although we have tried our usual channels, we have been unable to establish contact with The Question for the past two weeks. However, an email was left for us in a very unconventional manner by a person who is clearly NOT our regular columnist--yet signs the email "The Question."

An impostor? A fraud? Let's just say that the circumstances are awfully persuasive.

Dear Question,

My Barbie dolls were missing for two days and then suddenly showed up again, all sitting around the table in my dollhouse. I'm glad they came back but they're kind of scary now. They watch me when I go to bed and... and I think they don't like it when I say my prayers.

Are my dolls evil?

signed, Sorta Scared in Gotham

Dear Sorta,

Yes.

Yes, they are.

I recommend soaking them in holy water, if you can get enough (one gallon should do it), or dousing them in gasoline and setting them ablaze if you can't. By all means, ensure their destruction before the next new moon.

Or I will.

The Q

Hey Q!

You ain't been seen in Hub City in a dog's age, man-- where you been? Crime's up, hope is down and the city's circlin' the bowl. Come home, Q, we need ya!

An Old Pal in Hub City

Sorry to hear that, but I'm living in the shadow of the Bat for the foreseeable.

Hub City has lots of problems--but the people living there have to find their own answers. I can't do it for them.

The Q

Question,

The coils of fate are drawing close around you. Two more lessons await and you will be one of us.

A brother in faith

I think you mistake my agenda, "brother." But not for much longer.

The Q

Okay, that was... surreal. Join us next time for another installment of ASK THE QUESTION!, when we hope we'll have our usual mystery man back at the keyboard.

Until then, catch up on the doings of our guest columnist here.

Till next time!

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