Atom Seeks Treatment for Microphobia

IVY TOWN - Rookie hero The Atom has sought treatment for a condition tentatively identified as "microphobia": the fear of tiny things. (This is not the same as "nanophobia," which is the fear of really tiny things, but is closely related.)

"I started having, well, hallucinations when I was changing size," admitted the distraught hero. "It just isn't normal to see the things I was seeing. Floating heads, colonies of aliens living on my dog, a microscopic serial killer... I mean, does this sort of thing happen to other heroes or is it only me?"

The Atom's fellow heroes noted that he has been under considerable stress for some time.

"He's had personal issues this past year--resolving some long-standing issues with his father and some past relationships," said Wonder Woman. "He just needs some time and space to sort things out. He has a warrior's heart and I'm confident he'll bounce back."

"My microscopic vision hasn't found the oddities the Atom describes, but that's his world--the microscopic world, I mean," said Superman. "Could be there are some dangers down there that we can't foresee. If the Atom has found cause to be alarmed, it would be better for the Justice League to have a plan in place." He grimaced and added, "I bet Batman already has plans for a microscopic invasion in that cave of his..."

The Atom's public statements did not address allegations of an attack by dust bunnies in a Motel6 this past week.

Wonder Woman's New Toy-Sized Boy?

IVY TOWN - Local reporters were abuzz this past week with the arrival of Wonder Woman to this quiet college town. Was she visiting to enjoy this bastion of academia, or was there more going on than meets the eye?

"She was spending a lot of time with our hometown hero, the Atom," said Mavis Carter, local grocery store manager and gossip. "They seemed close, if you get my meaning. I even heard she made him an offer... what kind of respectable girl does that?"

Speculation that Wonder Woman has found herself a beau has been rife in these parts, after the Atom and Wonder Woman fended off mind-controlled mobs intent on killing the pint-size powerhouse. Nearly done in atop a Ted Grant Grease-Grabbin' Grill (tm), the Atom and Wonder Woman identified a metahuman mind-controller behind these shenanigans. Investigations into the facts behind this event are ongoing.

Asked for a comment, the Atom later said, "Um, I don't know if I can talk about anything we discussed. It's, ah, sort of a big decision and, well, I don't want to rush into anything."

Gossip columnists are going to be busy on this one in days to come!

Artwork by Adam Hughes, copyright DC Comics 2007, all rights reserved