Ask the Question!

Well, we held off as long as we could, but it's time for a new round of ASK THE QUESTION! Hub City's favorite vigilante/conspiracy theorist is back to solve your problems his way. Buckle your seats, readers, as we open the mailbag...

ANONYMOUS ASKS: Mr. Sage(?)
What is going on with the Weekly World News closing down? I am worried some goverment conspiracy closed down one of the last honest news sources. Can you provide details?

A good question, almost-nameless citizen. Upon investigation, I discovered that the entire staff of Weekly World News had been replaced by automata--androids meant to pass as human. The magazine's output was turned into an elaborate misinformation campaign, designed to confuse humanity in a time of impending crisis. Efforts to contain and analyze the androids led to mass self-destruction.
The location of the human staffers is undetermined at this time but I will continue to investigate.

For what it's worth, I miss the WWN too. You've made a good choice, subscribing to The Monthly X, though.

-Q

Hey Question!

There are weird images cropping up on the Internet. One shows Superman crying on Wonder Woman's shoulder and Batman with a scimitar (!); another shows Lex Luthor crying, on his knees in front of Darkseid's half-buried head.

What gives?

-Worried in Washington

Dear Worried,

I know the images you describe and am likewise concerned. The behavior of heroes and villains alike has been suspiciously chaotic and unpredictable. One might suspect that there is a mastermind behind these developments--and one does.

I am on the trail of something very large, the scope of which is... frightening.

Rest assured, you will read the results of my investigations here.

-Q

Dear Mr. Question,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Poptm?

-Idly Curious

Dear Idly,

How lucky for you that I find you entertaining... for now.

Piece of advice: stop antagonizing your Xbox Live opponents with contemptuous "boo-yahs" when you score a kill in HALO 3. I've provided two of them--ones who have a particular enthusiasm for paintball and "happy slap" greetings--with your address and daily itinerary.

I imagine your life will be far from "idle" very soon...

-Q

Question,

What do I do if I think there are supervillains setting up shop in my neighborhood? There's a storefront that's only open after midnight, closing before sunrise, and attracting a very unsavory crowd.

-Unsettled in Coast City

Dear Unsettled,

Your vigilance is rewarded. This is indeed a problematic situation. It appears Intergang has established a night-hours-only weapons store for lowlifes in your fair city.

I have alerted Green Lantern and other West Coast-based heroes but, given their own professional emergencies, it may be some time before they can attend this matter. If possible, maintain a discreet surveillance but do not endanger yourself with direct observation. Take notes--an eyewitness account will be important at trial. And be prepared to be relocated under another identity.

Congratulations, citizen. You have been drafted into the war on crime.

-Q

That's all we have time for this week. Got a problem you need solved? ASK THE QUESTION!

And don't forget, there's a brand-new collection of The Question's cases on bookshelves now-- ask for it at your local store!

See you next time!

Question artwork copyright DC Comics, all rights reserved