This Week

Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Sep 10, 2007

Smurfs Off Endangered Species List

Blue "Little People" Saved,
Old Wizard Frustrated

NAMELESS MEDIEVAL FOREST - Due to conservationist intervention and strict habitat control, the Smurfs are officially off the endangered species list. With a population of more than a hundred, the creatures--with their distinctive blue skin, white caps and height of "no more than three apples tall"--were on the verge of extinction less than twenty years ago. The extent of their crisis was never made plain in a series of documentaries more than twenty years ago, but xenonaturalists say the blue folk were almost smurfin' gone.

What was the cause of this threat to their existence? What was so terrible that their human friends Johan and Peewit couldn't save them?

"It was that smurfin' Gargamel," confirms Papa Smurf. "We never dwelt on it on the nature specials, but he and his smurfin' cat Azrael captured several of our citizens. Totally smurfed 'em up. Just unbe-smurfin'-lievable. You never saw Moneylender Smurf, Appleseller Smurf, Hobo Smurf, Smurf-at-Arms or Hippie Smurf, did you? There's a terrible reason why." He sniffled, then said, "Don't even ask me about Ratcatcher Smurf! Gravedigger Smurf was very busy for awhile there... aw, smurf is me."

Asked about the population given only two females (Smurfette and Sassette), Papa Smurf said, "We don't discuss freaky blue bidness with outsiders, yo."

Gargamel made no public statement, just yelled at the BPD reporter and said something about using his magic to "strike fear into your Smurf-loving hearts." So far, no magical retribution has been detected.

Discovered by famed Belgian naturalist and cartoonist Peyo (aka Pierre Culliford) in October 1958, the Smurfs existed in a modern Belgian woodland that is co-temporal with the High Middle Ages; their village was only intermittently accessible to the modern world. The dire situation was only discovered two years ago, when an international effort was launched to protect the Smurfs.

"We are grateful to our friends in the human world," Papa Smurf said. "Now please leave us the smurf alone."

For more information on the Smurfs, visit

Smurf artwork by Peyo and Hanna-Barbara Productions, all rights reserved; village scene copyright Peyo and UNICEF, all rights reserved

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