Lawsuit Update:Case To Be Settled In Ring

NEW YORK - J. Jonah Jameson and Spider-Man, also known as Peter Parker, have decided to settle their dispute in a charity boxing match. The match is being organized by Night Thrasher of the New Warriors, who promises that there will be no SHIELD intervention, and Vince McMahon, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment, who has secured PayPerView rights.

"Jameson will be given pre-selected cybernetic enhancements for the event, giving him an equal footing with the Webslinger. We have a venue picked out and picking up Jameson will be no problem no matter how many guys they got watching him. It should be a good fight," the radical leader posted on his WeTube site.

Though Spider-Man is currently wanted by most authorities, SHIELD Director Tony Stark has decided to suspend Parker's warrant until the match is done. "Well, it is for charity. Which is important. And it would be a good fight." The Director tugged at his tie rather excitedly while I tried to think of a follow-up. "It's not like I'm betting on the thing," Stark blurted before asking me to leave with the three SHIELD agents he called in.

"I'm ready to settle this once and for all," Spider-Man told this reporter in an alley behind a Jack-In-The-Box. "Sitting in his office, listening to the same tirade day in, day out. Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong. Did you see King of Kong? Excellent."
Spider-Man artwork copyright Marvel Comics, all rights reserved