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Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Sep 7, 2007

Hulk Downgraded from 'Incredible...'

NEW YORK, NY - Due to his recent attacks on Manhattan and his vendetta against America's foremost heroes, the Hulk has been officially downgraded from "Incredible" to the more fitting "Irascible."

"We felt it was justified, changing to 'The Irascible Hulk,'" said Marvel News Group editor-in-chief Joe Quesada. "His actions have been pretty cranky. I have news footage of him kicking a puppy, for heaven's sake! No, he's no longer 'incredible' in our coverage. If this keeps up, we may even have to change his official adjective to 'Irritating' or even 'Abominable'. Though that might confuse him with the Abomination... ah well, we'll think of something really nasty. Hey! 'The Nasty Hulk!' I like it!"

Representatives for the Hulk had no official comment, except to say that "Green Scar is the Green King is the Hulk is Holku... whatever you want to call him, it doesn't really matter. He smashes wherever he likes."

Stan Lee, press agent for many prominent superheroes, said, "This is crazy! The Hulk, not Incredible? Not on my watch, true believers! Excelsior!" Lee was restrained before he could "rush to the rescue" of the green behemoth, who continues to reshape midtown Manhattan into a crude copy of a gladiatorial arena.

The Hulk recently announced his intention to make his defeated enemies battle each other in mortal combat, as he had to do on the planet Sakaar, as a gladiatorial slave of the Red King. Naturally, his earthbound sympathizers in the superhero community are dismayed.

More news as it develops.

Hulk artwork and logo copyright Marvel Comics, all rights reserved; Stan Lee photo copyright Stan Lee, all rights reserved

2 comments:

Gyuss Baaltar said...

I've already bought tickets to the battle between Reed Richards and Tony Stark. I can hardly wait. This is way better than UFC.

BTW, has anyone seen the UFC champ lately? He was shooting a move last week and disappeared between scenes.

Anonymous said...

He reappeared two weeks ago-- yes, that's right, he returned a full week before he vanished-- confused and sporting a nasty rash.
Drew