This Week

Scott Pilgrim sought and found

Aug 8, 2007

Reed Richards Invents Mechanical Backscratcher

Admits to Having an Off Day

NEW YORK - Reed Richards, world-famous as "Mr. Fantastic" of the Fantastic Four, admitted he has been in a slump as an inventor lately. His only serious effort in the past week has been a mechanical backscratcher.

"I mean, it's a good backscratcher, don't get me wrong," Dr. Richards insists, "but I'm a guy who invents time machines, moon rockets and extradimensional slingshots before lunch! I solved the quantum diffraction problem in seventeen minutes, while I was fighting off an invasion by the Skrulls!" He sighed. "I really need to take some time off and get my focus back."

Ben Grimm, Reed's longtime friend and teammate, agreed. "Stretch ain't been on his game fer awhile now," the Thing said. "Ever since Civil War kinda blew up in his face--I guess it dint go like his fancy math said it oughtta--he's been in the dumps. He needs ta get outta the city and get some fresh air. Mebbe take Suzie and Frank fer a family vacation, somewhere nice. Like Atlantic City, mebbe."

Reed said, "There's a six percent chance of improvement if I remain in my current work/home paradigm. Clearly something has to change." He considered his newest invention, then muttered something about 'scratching Schrodinger's cat'.
Artwork copyright Marvel Comics, all rights reserved

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