Celebrity Boxing Announces Sidekick Extravaganza

NEW YORK (BPD) Flash-in-the-Pan Entertainment announced its latest celebrity boxing event in a colorful press conference on Monday. Rick Jones, former sidekick to the Hulk, Captain America and Captain Marvel I, faces off against former Justice League of America sidekick Snapper Carr. The event undercard features former Green Lantern sidekick, Thomas "Pieface" Kalmaku versus Dr. Stephen Strange's manservant, Wong.

Billed primarily as a charity event, organizers downplayed rumors of mob involvement in their business operation and gambling connected with the event itself. The fight will be held over Thanksgiving Weekend in Las Vegas. Introducing the competitors, Flash-in-the-Pan managing executive Jim Dewey stressed ties to religious organizations.

"My partners and I have always said that we're in this business to help those less fortunate than ourselves. Our associates in the religious community are invaluable in facilitating our ability to translate that desire into action. And they're excited about the event just as much as we are."

Dewey's minority partner Frank Cheetam echoed the his statement. ""We're looking forward to seeing some heads get busted. That Snapper boy is going to get his thumbs broken. You know Rick Jones used to hang out with the Hulk?"

Competitors were somewhat less spirited but earnest in their desire to lend their fame to the charitable event. "Cap always said that you have to stand up for something." said Rick Jones, who will also be singing the national anthem. Snapper Carr, snapping his fingers throughout the press conference said, "Hey, cool guys! I'm not a square, can you dig it?"

But rumors continue to swirl amids reports of business improprieties connected to the office of In-the-Pan CFO, William F. Howe. Howe, who was conspicuously absent from the press conference, has been unavailable for comment on matters concerning financial impropriety. Howe is also rumored to be working back doors on Wall Street in an effort to conclude a merger.

More on this story as events develop.

Justice League Unlimited artwork copyright Warner Animation, all rights reserved