Truth, Justice, and Sweet, Sweet Love

As always, resident BPD love expert Big Mike is here to chime in on the romantic triumphs and travails of our readership. Let's go straight to the mailbag, shall we?

Big Mike:

Life in politics is stressful. Add a crimefighting gig and three sidekicks to watch over and you're looking at one busy hero. So I like to blow off a little steam here and there and have a good time with some fun loving ladies. But recently... well... let's just say that it's not my arrow that's green this time around. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Itchin in Star City

Dear Itchin,

Firstly, I think you need to stop and think about the kind of example you're setting for your kids, your three sidekicks, and their kids. You're an adult and you can make your own decisions, but it sounds to me like that boxing glove isn't the only glove you need to store in your quiver. As for the itch, Batman had the same problem in the 80's after his fling with Talia. He's got a cream that works wonders. Best of luck.

-Big Mike

Dear Big Mike,

I've been putting in crazy legwork to get the friction on with this girl. The thing is that she's an alien with superpowers. Oh, and don't get me started on her cousin. I don't have superpowers or anything. And I sort of got beat up by a girl recently. My dad was kind of a loser, and I don't want to follow in his footsteps. Do I have any chance with this girl? Oh, did I mention she's 16?

Thanks,
Baby Boomer

BB,

Let me first say that you're kind of a pervert. Superpowers or not, that girl is barely old enough to drive. Guys like you belong on obscure superhero teams that no one cares about... wait a sec...

But more to the point, I'd say you probably don't have much of a chance. In my experience, when it comes to girls like this, if you're not super-intelligent, green, and from at least a thousand years in the future, you might as well be wearing a clown suit. I suggest you move on. If you like 'em young, I hear JSA headquarters is the place to be.

-Big Mike

Big Mike,

I recently had an ill-advised fling with my ex-boyfriend, Oliver. Now, I have this... itch. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Pretty Birdy

Pretty Birdy,

When will you people learn? Go see Batman. And for the love of Zeus, keep your fishnets on when you visit Star City!

-Big Mike

Well, that's it for the mailbag this week. Remember folks, it's a big scary world out there, but we heroes gotta fight the good fight for truth, justice, and sweet, sweet love.

Got a question, on super human love, for Big Mike?
Leave it in the comments section then check back to see if Big Mike has an answer!
(keep it clean or clever)